No one wants to be overwhelmed. However, a child overwhelmed can be particularly painful and challenging to deal with as a guardian. Understanding the root cause behind overwhelm, such as anxiety in children, sensory overload, and a range of other factors, is crucial in assisting—as is implementing the right techniques in everyday life to build emotional strength and grow emotional regulation.
What Does it Mean When a Child Is Overwhelmed?
A child overwhelmed is a child who is drowning in emotions and thoughts. They may lose control of themselves and have big reactions to seemingly small things, without knowing what to do or how to process any of it.
Overwhelm can manifest in different ways, and each child is unique. Regardless of how it manifests, it is crucial to have calming techniques for kids who need it, and to have the tools available to help. This may come in the form of school support for overwhelmed children, a sensory toolkit, and some alterations to everyday life to better equip them to handle emotions.
Why Do Some Children Get Overwhelmed Easily?
Some children can get overwhelmed easily due to sensory sensitivities, differences in temperament, lower stress tolerance, learning/processing challenges, and more. Many children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) will get overwhelmed more easily than their neurotypical counterparts, but all children are prone to getting overwhelmed by social pressures such as performance expectations, uncertainty, and previous experiences.
What Emotional Regulation Tools Can Children Use?
Children are new to life, which means that the tools they have to regulate their big emotions in their little bodies are limited. As a guardian, it’s your job to teach them emotional regulation strategies and tools.
Emotional regulation tools that children can use from a young age include using comfort objects, quiet time, creative expression, grounding techniques, and using their bodies (movement breaks). You can teach techniques like positive self-talk and naming emotions, and introduce guided breathing, but this will be something you work up to over time and your little one gains better control of their bodies.
What Are Common Signs a Child Is Feeling Overwhelmed?
Common signs that a child is feeling overwhelmed include sudden emotional outbursts, trouble making simple decisions, changes in behaviour, difficult concentrating and many more. However, please remember that you know your child best, and you need to understand their baseline.
A child overwhelmed might display the following signs:
- Difficulty concentrating
- Inability to sit still (restlessness, fidgeting, etc)
- Sudden emotional outbursts (crying, shouting, etc)
- Withdrawing, becoming quiet, or shutting down
- Trouble making simple decisions
- Changes in behaviour (e.g. avoidance or becoming clingy)
- Physical complaints (e.g. tiredness, headaches, stomach ache)
- Increased frustration and irritability
How Can I Help My Child Calm Down Right Now?
A child overwhelmed must be met with kindness and gentleness—anything else could further overwhelm them and make the situation and their relationship with their emotions worse. Be patient, remain calm, and take action by reducing stimulation, naming the emotion you see, and helping them through their intense feelings by walking them through slow breathing and grounding exercises.
Always reassure your little ones that emotions are normal, and that they are not in trouble for having big feelings. Avoid problem-solving from the get-go, as an overwhelmed brain needs time to calm down before it can think clearly again, and give your child the time and space they need if required.
Some things that could help a child overwhelmed include:
- Remain calm – your children will pick up on your own emotions
- Reduce stimulation in the area – if possible, you should lower noise levels and move to a quieter spot, dim the lights, and reduce sensations that could be contributing
- Name the emotion you see in your child – be gentle and reflect on how they might be feeling based on their expression and behaviour, using simple words to help them understand their own emotions and feel acknowledged
- Guide them through slow breathing – breathing is key to regulating emotions, so encourage your little one to breathe in through the nose, and out through the mouth slowly. Do this with them
- Help to ground them through their body – draw attention to the things they feel, see, or smell. Encourage them to press their feet into the floor, or squeeze a soft toy to help in grounding themselves and regulating their emotions
- Use short phrases to reassure them – reassure them to let them know that they are not in trouble, that they are safe, and that they are loved, but keep it short and sweet
- Don’t automatically jump to problem-solving – an overwhelmed mind isn’t thinking clearly. Get back to problem-solving once they have calmed down, and can have a conversation
- If needed, give them some time and/or space – some children will calm down with some quiet and space. Remain available to them, but do not infringe on their needs or put more pressure on them
- Reconnect once they have calmed down – once they have calmed down, you can have a gentle conversation about what happened, and what could help the next time it happens
How Can Everyday Routines Reduce Overwhelming Feelings?
Routines add predictability to life, making it less likely to feel overwhelmed once the routine sets in, and you know what to expect. For children who get overwhelmed easily, sticking to a consistent routine (with some wiggle room!) is key in helping them to regulate their emotions and feel confident in knowing what the day holds.
If your child is easily overwhelmed, and you don’t know how to help, creating a strong routine could be life-changing. Grow their confidence, and make sure that they have a say in something in their day—even if it’s something small—to help reduce overwhelm and make every day a little bit easier.
How Can Parents Talk About Emotions With Their Child?
A child overwhelmed may not be able to talk about their feelings in the moment, but talking about emotions with children is crucial. To talk to your child about their emotions, you need to understand that they will have a limited understanding of their own emotions, and you will need to be patient and guide them where needed.
Depending on how old your child is, you may need to take a different approach. Follow these guidelines to help your child understand emotions, and show them that you are there to listen and to help, without feelings of judgement:
- Talk about emotions and feelings often, and name them in everyday moments – crucial for young children, parents and guardians should be naming emotions throughout the day to help them understand, recognise, and talk about feelings from a young age
- Never dismiss the feelings of your little ones – little bodies carry big feelings, too, and it’s important to never dismiss them (even if they seem insignificant to you). Acknowledge it, talk through that it means, and remind your child that their emotions matter
- Listen and be patient – having patience and letting your child express how they feel in their own way is important in deepening their own understanding of themselves, growing their emotional vocabulary, and improving their ability to express themselves
- Have frequent conversations about emotions over time – having regular discussions about feelings will help to make talking about emotions easier, more normalised, and grant your little ones the ability to better understand themselves and others
- Be the role model you wish you had – children model the behaviours of adults, and by you expressing your feelings and being open, your child will likely do the same. By using calm and clear language when talking about your emotions, and not bottling them up, your little ones will do the same
- Use materials to help with conversations – many structured tools, such as emotion cards, are powerful for individuals who might otherwise struggle to convey emotions (e.g. young children, or some children with ASD). Use these tools to encourage emotional expression in everyday conversations and build emotional awareness and understanding
When Should I Get Professional Support for My Child?
You should get professional support for your child if they get overwhelmed at everyday things, and it impacts their ability to live their life. If their overwhelm is getting in the way of them enjoying life and doing what they want to do, seeking help is the right call.
Contact The Brain Workshop to Learn More About How We Can Help
From sensory overload in children to anxiety, social pressures, trauma, and more, there are countless reasons why a child could be feeling overwhelmed. Regardless of the cause, helping them through it and giving them the tools they need to better their lives is crucial—and we can help.
At The Brain Workshop, our child emotional support programmes and coaching services help families build confidence and emotional resilience. Contact us today for a free consultation, and find out more about what you can do to help a child overwhelmed.
Learn more about us at the Brain Workshop, meet our team, check out events, or even read our FAQ. Or, if there is something specific you would like to improve, visit our pages on improving academic performance, reading skills, math, attention span, and memory.
